Thursday, June 5, 2008

Adam Carolla Is My New Best Friend

I never really thought much about Adam Carolla, but now that I know we are bonded by the pure commonality that is hating that douchebag John Mayer, I love him with all 105 pounds of my being. Here's what he had to say regarding Mayer on his radio show:
"John Mayer… I sat next to him for this benefit, and we didn’t talk a lot, but he seemed like a decent enough guy. I see him all over these news shows. I see him dating various celebrities, and my first impulse is like, “Oh, Jesus, you a-hole, would you just date, you know, date a secretary and see if you can string together four months without hopping from one starlet to the next? What’s with all the tattoos, and… I know you have that one song about how your body’s a gymboree or something. Whatever it is, alright, that song’s five years old, isn’t it? Like, are you crankin’ out the hits? What’s going on?”
And then I pass the posters for, like, different radio stations like “We Play The Hits,” and there’ll be a big picture of John Mayer up there, and I’m like, “I don’t know anyone who has any John Mayer CDs.” Alright, here’s my whole thing… a-hole or not, I see him do standup comedy.I see him be funny. I see him do these kind-of-like stunts and screw around with the paparazzi…. He rides that “Crest of Douchebag.”
I couldn't have said it better myself. His words are so beautiful they are bringing me to tears. Pardon me. I'm feeling a little vaclemt.


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