Monday, June 16, 2008

And In Related News, Kate Beckinsale Thinks She's Obese

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Kate Beckinsale is lusted after by both men and women the world over. She always manages to stay perfectly toned while still maintaining her sexy, envious curves. But you can't tell Kate that. According to sources on the set of her new movie "Whiteout", the star insisted that producers hire a £1,000-a-day nude stand-in because Kate thinks her ass is too fat to be shown on screen. A source said, "Kate has a terrible self-image. She thinks she is fat and she is always complaining how certain outfits make her bottom look big. Of course, the reality is that she has the most amazing body.
"The script called for her character to be filmed nude in a shower, focusing in on her bottom and thighs. Kate insisted on a double being hired. She was quite open on the set about not liking her body and said she particularly loathed her bottom and was not comfortable baring it."
"Kate just didn’t want to show her bottom, even though everyone on the set was saying how good it looks in jeans. She said she couldn’t face the thought of seeing her butt up on a big screen. She will have the final veto over who stands in for her."
Mmm hmm. I've known people like this. They are all, "I'm so fat! I'm so ugly! I look awful!" only to look over to you expecting to hear, "No you don't! You are the most stunning creature on the face of the Earth! You make me look like shit! Your beauty has the ability to make suicidal people want to live!" That being said, you are fat, Kate. So you probably shouldn't wear any more of those skin tight outfits you are so fond of. Even though all the fat, insecure people I know are always wearing figure hugging, barely there clothes. And they always talk about how great in bed they are. Because people who are so ashamed of their bodies are super willing to get naked and are really uninhibited in bed. And they also like to get nearly naked for photoshoots. I can definetely see where you are coming from, fatass. And you're definetely not a doubletalker or hypocritical at all. In fact, see below for some of Kate's modest, body concious photohoots.




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