Monday, June 23, 2008

Attention Whore. And A Regular One Too.

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Here's what I imagine was going through Courtney Love's mind when she put on this 20's, flapper style see-through dress and fugged up Malibu this weekend: "I'm really skinny! Really skinny! I lost all this weight so I could look completely distressed over allegedly having Kurt Cobain's ashes stolen from my house when, in fact, I probably either sold them for cash, or just made the story up for publicity because that's what I do. Someone please take a picture of me looking ano and sad and desperate and helpless and like a Nancy Spungen meets Daisy Buchanan hybrid. I fear that I am not relevant any longer because no magazines want to interview me and when I flash my pasty, saggy white tits, the photographers don't take my picture they just vom in the bushes. Someone please look at me before I start cutting myself pretending I am committing suicide which I would never actually do but desperately want them to think I would. If someone doesn't pay attention to me in five seconds I am going to hold me breath until I pass out. At least it's gonna look that way. I'll totally breath through my nose but I'll pretend like I'm not breathing. And if that doesn't work I'll scream or throw a chair through a window. Look at me, dammit!!!" Yep. I think that about sums it up.


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