Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Marky Wahlberg Rejects George Clooney, Therefore, I Love Him

I like Mark Wahlberg. He seems like a pretty stand up, low key kind of guy. He does his press junkets, but during his downtime prefers to spend time with his daughter and longtime lady. He doesn't seem to have that smug "I'm the effing shit" way about him either. In other words, he's pretty much the exact opposite of George Clooney, who clearly thinks he is God's gift. Sure he wouldn't come right out and say it, but you know he thinks it. Do you remember the American Dad episode "Tears of a Clooney"? They hit the nail on the motherfucking head with that! "The final key to Clooney is resisting his charm. Men and women alike find it irresistible and kiss his ass until they are sucked inside. But if you stay out of his ass, he will pursue you until he is all the way up yours!" And that is just what Mark Wahlberg did when asked to be a part of George Clooney's pussy posse. Wahlberg, who starred with Clooney in "The Perfect Storm" is quoted as saying, "It was well worth it! The second one sucked! People tell George Clooney it’s great, but we all know it sucked.
I made two bad movies instead - Planet of the Apes and The Truth About Charlie. But doing that was better than sitting with Brad and George, telling the press how great everybody is: ‘We were in Europe, George was funny, then we had some wine…’ That’s not for me."
Oh my God. I love you. I just...I love you. Now more than ever. The truth that you speak is so beautiful, so pure! And you know what Mark Wahlberg? No matter how many shitty movies you make from now on (not that you make shitty movies, I actually honestly love and enjoy all your film choices and think you are a great actor), I will see them all. You could make "Gigli 2: Back and Benniferier than Ever!" and "Swept Away: The Musical" and I would watch them proudly. You're my boy Wahlberg. You're my boy.
(Pic from "Tears of a Clooney)


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