Friday, June 6, 2008

An Open Letter To Mandy Moore

Dearest Mandy,
Hello doll. I know that you have been dating Ryan Adams for quite a while now, and I just thought that I should bring something to your attention. You're Mandy Moore. You do realize that, right? I fully acknowledge that you are not all about the looks, and I totally respect that. In fact, it's part of the reason I adore you so much. But this is taking it a bit to the extreme. You're the entire package! The real deal! The whole shebang! You could reel in a dude that is smart, fun and doesn't look like he is a few links before you in the evolutionary chain. If that is what he looks like while he is out and about, I shudder to think of what he looks like first thing in the morning. You deserve better. You're a precious gem, a gift! You're Mandy Freakin' Moore! Just think about it. If not for my sake, for the sake of your corneas and your vagina. He cannot be good for either.

Kisses dollface!
Mrs. M
P.S. "Dedication" was the best movie of the year! Excellent cinematic choices!


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