Monday, June 16, 2008

What the Fug? of the Day: Ethan Hawke

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This whole thing that is going on right here is absolutely, positively appalling. I mean, really. All the homeless people of the world should unite and kick the living shit out of Ethan Hawke for being rich as sin but refusing to bathe, wear clean clothes, or comb his hair. I know that being scruffy is his "thing", but there is a way to be scruffy, and not look like you live in the back alley of the China Buffet where you sneak in their dumpster every night hoping to find a box of left over Dim Sum. Look at Johnny Depp. He doesn't really play into that whole grooming, mass consumerism thing, but he also isn't going out of his way to look like he pisses on himself and does shameful things for a thimbleful of whiskey sour. I mean really! You no longer just look hip and edgy and complicated, Ethan. You look poor and gross and kind of like you have a deadly disease. Perhaps the lepresy or the Plague. I'm not really sure but it's definetely something I don't want to get near because I'm pretty sure it's incurable. And I'm definetely sure you look like you're going to "accidently" cough some blood up on me. I know that sounds gross but tell me he doesn't! Goodbye "Great Expectations", hello Enormous disappointment.
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