Friday, June 27, 2008

Your Madonna and Guy Ritchie Update *Cue Fancy News Music*

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Everybody who is anybody (my dogs) have been claiming that Madonna and Guy Ritchie are most definetely getting a divorce. Why you ask? According to the Mirror, the two decided to seperate after agreeing that they had fallen out of love. Although Madge's publicist continues to say "no comment", sources close to the couple insist the decision has been made. "They were both very calm. Madonna told Guy: 'I'm sorry, I want a divorce'. And he agreed. It was quite painless but very sad."
Both parties have reportedly spoken with divorce lawyers to ensure that the break-up is orderly and as amicable as possible. However, without a pre-nuptial agreement, Guy could be looking at up to £50million of Madge's £300million fortune. Psht! pocket change when you've got £300million! She probably spends that much on Kabbalah water. Speaking of which, The Sun reports today that Guy Ritchie has quit the Kabbalalalala. Says a source: “He has gone hot and cold on the religion in the past, but now he’s given up on it altogether. It has always been her thing and is more a part of her life than ever.” He’s also become increasingly suspicious of the Kabbalah crowd living off his wife’s money. Well, I'm sorry to hear about your trials and tribs, Guy, but let's face it, you are a hot bitch and will have no trouble finding a fabulous female that knows what to do with all you're working with. You also won't have to be a battered wifey anymore, so that's definetely a plus. I mean really! When he first started dating her, he looked like a throw you around, take charge kind of guy. Totally hot. For the past couple years he looks like he has been beaten into absolute submission and just surrendered. Poor dear!

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