Sunday, July 6, 2008

Can Someone Punch George Clooney in the Face? Please?

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George "raging douchebag" Clooney recently gave an interview with "In Touch", and *shocker!* he spoke about his status as a sex symbol and how effing awesome he thinks he is. Here's a little tidbit:
Do they [George’s friends] ask you for advice?:
Mostly the usual stuff. What does it take to appeal to women?
What’s your reply? I can only talk about my own experiences. With me, it’s the hair. If you have beautiful and strong hair, then you’re successful with women.
So you wouldn’t be sexy bald? In the case of hair loss, it’s all over.
How long does it take you to get dressed? I spend at least three or four hours a day in the bathroom. Being sexy day and night is a big responsibility. And I like taking it!

Wow George! You're so humble and funny and clever and sexy and smart! I (as well as every other man, woman and iguana) on Earth are floored by your absolute awesomeness. How can a man be so, so sexy and yet still so hysterical?!? I have to know! Wait, I'm sorry. Did I just call you sexy? You are so beyond that. You ARE sex. I'm sure that whenever anybody or thing is having sex, they cannot help but to imagine you. Because you are just that irresistable. In fact, all women should cease to have any other man's child but yours. Because clearly a Clooney world is a perfect world. Naturally you would not have to care for the children or commit to any of their mothers because, let's face it, the Messiah of sex is too good for any one woman or reponsibilities. You are free as a bird, and that bird you cannot change! God bless you George Clooney for giving us the pure joy of gracing us with your life.

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