Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Are You There, Britney? It's Me, Mrs. M.

Dear Britney,
I have been hoping that the old you would eventually come back to join us Earthlings, instead of remaining stagnant and strange on Planet Britney. It's a lonely planet there, and although there is plenty of NyQuil and Cheetos, there are few people who speak the same language as you. While at times you have given us a glimpse of the old Brittles, making us think perhaps you were getting back to the old you, somehow you always managed to fall back on the beat weaved, nasty sweat pants wearing, stain on your shirt hot mess you have been for some time. Lately though, you have begun to look like a regular person-one who does not need help getting dressed or eating her strained peas. In fact, after these promo commercials you did with Russell Brand for the MTV VMAs, I am beginning to think you are feeling like your old self. Welcome back to Earth, Britney. While we've enjoyed your straight up insanity, we've missed the real you!
Kisses and Bitchslaps,
Mrs. M

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