Monday, August 18, 2008

Lard Ass

Here's that grotesque, obese, fatnasty, wildabeast of a woman Kate Beckinsale wobbling her way out of the surf on a Mexican vacay with her family. Can you even imagine the miles and miles of fabric it must have taken to create this orange bikini? Not to mention the manpower behind it? They must have literally had everyone in Mexico gathering together in some sort of goodwill gesture to sew this up for the Underworld star. As you may recall, Grendel here recently refused to have her butt shot in a movie because she thought it was "too fat" (and rightfully so), and has repeatedly insisted that she is shy because she finds herself to be too heavy. I think I speak for everyone when I say you are right on the money, Kate. I have never seen such a shy, overweight person in my life, and you should really think about wearing turtlenecks and sweats at all times. Now excuse me while I go eat a lunch consisting of two tic tacs and a sniff of celery. You have me feeling all icked out.


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