Wednesday, August 27, 2008

We Don't Want

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So Tara Reid has a new clothing line now. Apparently her days aren't filled enough with her busy schedule of getting wasted, throwing up in her own shoes, and not working. The crap de la Reid is entitled, "Mantra", and consists of bathing suits and casual wear. All I have to ask is why?!? Why would anyone not stoned off their asses give Tara effing Reid a clothing line? I would rather buy sophiticated apparel created by Gary Coleman. In fact, I loathe Tara's cheap ass, discount stripper clothes so much, here are a list of things I would rather happen to me than wear that hideous ass, fug shit:
1.) Be a stenographer for Kim Jong-Il
2.) Go to a parenting seminar by Michael Lohan
3.) Use dog shit as conditioner
4.) Be tied up in Boy George's basement
5.) Be tied up in Roseanne Barr's basement
6.) Give myself a facial with bark
7.) Wear rayon clothing for a month straight
8.) Have Billy Joel be my chaufeur
9.) Have sex with Andy Dick
10.) Listen to a book on tape by Rachel Ray
11.) Adopt Rachel Zoe's diet
12.) Be Naomi Campbell's assistant
13.) Take a political class taught by Bill Maher
14.) Take a women's issue class by Bill Maher
15.) Watch "One Night in Paris"
16.) Get a portrait of Rosie O'Donnell tattooed on my face
17.) Have baby pigeons claw out my eyes
18.) Vote for John McCain
19.) Stick my head in a spinning fan
20.) Be Eddie Murphy

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