Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Colin Farrell is Sexalicious. Oh Yeah, and a Lifesaver Too.

Ahh...just what my vagina has been waiting for. Some news about Colin Farrell. Well, actually it's been waiting for some pictures of the Farrell, but this will have to do. As it turns out, when Coliscious isn't volunteering with The Special Olympics, he's saving lives. A modern day Clara Barton that one is! Except hotter. And with a penis. And a better dresser. And Irish. And who is on the wagon. It all began a year ago, in a magical land called Toronto where a beggar named "Stress" (that's his birth name I'm sure) who was on the skids, his life a blur of booze and shitty fast food resided. Then along came Colin Farrell. "I was hopeless and ready to give up." As fate would have it, Stress passed the doors of the InterContinental Hotel on Bloor St. — and out popped Dublin's own Colin Farrell. Farrell took Stress in, gave him cash for lodgings, plus a shopping spree of three grand. He then shared some words 'o wisdom with the man saying, "You need to get your life together, man, promise me," he told Stress as his chauffeur steered for a Queen St. outfitters. Part of that chat was about addiction recovery groups. Two days later, Stress joined one. Today, Stress is clean and sober, has a comfy bachelor pad, goes to church and the Y and darts around town on a mountain bike. He's even taken up yoga. "Colin Farrell saved my life," he says. I hope Stress realizes he is one lucky dude. And not cause he got all that crap. I'm talking about because he got to be near Colin Farrell. Damn I bet he smells good. Like vanilla cigars, Bulgari pour Homme Soir, and sex.


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