Monday, September 29, 2008

I Wonder What He's Thinking..

My best guess is he's not. Or if he is, he's thinking something like this: "Oh my God you know what would be so GREAT right now? A bowl of Count Chocula. You know what I could really go for another bowl of? Weed. Damn I love weed. And I love that I love weed. You know what else I love? That movie "Smiley Face". That shit was hilarious. You know what else is hilarious? I have a trophy of a bong. I wonder if I can smoke out of it, or if it's just for show? How freakin' sweet would it be if I could smoke weed out of my trophy? I mean sure, I smoke weed out of my awards all the time, but this would probably take a lot less work in making it smokeable. Oh shit. These people are taking pictures of me. I wonder if they can tell that I'm thinking about Count Chocula and "Smiley Face" and making a bong out of my bong. Maybe I should give them a peace sign. Yeah. Cause I don't like the war. War is like, so...mean. Why can't we just sit down with those Iraq people and smoke a fat joint and things just be all good? I mean shit. You know what it is? I bet they have weed in Iraq but it's all laced with some crazy shit. Oh my God, what if everyone in Iraq is smoking laced shit and that's why they're all bananas? Dude, I am totally on to something here! When I get home I am totally going to call Sean Penn and give him my theory. It is going to flip his shit! Not that it's not easy to get Sean to flip his shit. Like that time we were on set and that extra tapped him on his shoulder and he was all "I do NOT want to take a picture or do an autograph, o.k.?!? I am a person just like you! Just because I am famous and in movies and save hurricane survivors in my boat does not mean I am special! I put my pants on one leg at a time just like YOU!!!!" and the extra was all, "I just wanted to know where the bathroom is." That shit was so fucking funny! I giggled a little but not too much because that bitch would whoop my ass and I was way to stoned to deal with an ass kicking. You know who kicks ass? High Times for giving me this award. I love that magazine. Oh crap. I have to renew my subscription. I've got to get on that. I wonder if they have any Count Chocula in the back. They better. Or at least some Cheeze-Its. Or some sour gummy worms. Those things are so sour, but so delicious in my belly!"


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