Sunday, September 28, 2008

The Streets Are Just A Little Bit Safer (Now With Mugshot For That Aaaaa)

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You can sleep more soundly tonight, because a true threat to our society and your children's safety has been captured and aprehended. No, I'm not talking about Bin Laden. I'm talking about that menace to the Hollywood Hills, Heather Locklear. The 46-year-old actress was reportedly pulled over yesterday in Santa Barbara where cops deemed her under the influence of drugs though an alcohol test was not performed. Officials do not believe Ms. Locklear was drinking, which only leaves one thing: Prescription pills. Now, I'm not stating this as fact, I'm just using logical deduction. I hardly doubt Heather Locklear is hitting the crack pipe, and she doesn't seem like a meth-head, so I'm putting my money on Vicodin and/or Oxycontin. Although Senorita Locklear was later released on her own recognizance, I think I speak for all of us when I say thank God justice has finally prevailed.

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