Sunday, October 19, 2008

Catherine Zeta-Jones is Morrbidly Obese.

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Catherine Zeta-Jones is praised for having one of the most bodacious bodies in Hollywood. However, now that her true measurements have come out, I suppose we should all change our opinions from thinking she looks amazing to thinking she looks like a heifer that should be oogled at the zoo. A snitch for a casting agency says that although she might not want the world to know it, CZJ (at 5'8) is...are you sitting down?...A 10-12 dress on bottom and a 8-10 on top! Oh but wait-because it gets more shockng! She has a 29 inch waist. What a hippo. That bitch clearly has no self control and should get fit for one of those gastric bands immediately.
In all seriousness I ask you: what. the. fuck? I know it's been said a gazillion times but Marilyn Monroe is the biggest sex icon of all time and she wore a size 12. What has happened to us? CZJ is a beautiful, curvaceous woman and whoever thinks she's too big can just suck it. Suck. It. Hard.

(The snitch's memo):

2 comments:

Aliers said...

CZJ is hawt. Like seriously. I would slap an albino midget with a twizzler to be able to look like her.

I agree that anyone who thinks she is too big can go suck it.

bohobum said...

amen

 
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