Friday, October 10, 2008

Forbes 10 Most Valuable Faces

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Forbes did a whole bunch 'o analytical research in the name of science to determine who was the most valuable face in the celeb rag industry. The six biggest celebrity weeklies--People, Star, US Weekly, In Touch Weekly, Life & Style and OK!--were calculated over a year-long period ending June 30, eliminating non-celebrity and "collage" covers as well as one-off cover subjects and special issues with exceptionally large rate bases. They then counted how many more--or fewer--issues the celebrity's cover sold as compared with the magazine's average newsstand sales. Who made the grade? Let's take a looksie:
10.) Owen Wilson (this one was suprising, but his sucide attempt and romance with Kate Hudson surely landed him a top spot.)
9.) Heidi Montag (because there are a lot of masochists out there)
8.) Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
7.) Suri Cruise (they're BABIES! What is there to report? They took a poo-poo? They aren't speaking to their Paddington Bear? String beans make them vom? Jeez.)
6.) Jessica Simpson (well, at least she can sell magazines cause we sure as shit know she can't sell her music, movies or clothes)
5.) Nicole Richie
4.) Jamie Lynn Spears (I think she appeals to the "Cops" and "My Big Redneck Wedding" demographic. She's got that shit on lock!)
3.) Heath Ledger (sad!!!)
2.) Jennifer Aniston (because misery loves company)
1.) Angelina Jolie (because she's the Messiah!)

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