Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Jennifer Aniston is Totally Pregnant

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With a ham sandwich. The gossip mills are churning overtime today with the rumblings that Jennifer Aniston is pregant with John Mayer's douchey baby. Why all the speculation you ask? Because Jenn has been spotted with a "baby bump". Yes, the bump in this picture. Although it looks to me like she just needs a couple of Beano's to work out that situation. Actually she's probably just on her period. She should really talk to Fergie about this one. God knows the pregnancy rumors run rampant about her once every month or two. That chick can't even take a sip of hot chocolate before the rags are posting pics of her saying she's knocked up.
You know, I really hope for Jenn's sake that she's not pregnant. That kid would probably come out drenched in L.A. Looks and douchey tattoos that say shit like "I am because I think I am". Ugh. John Mayer. I can't imagine having that bottle of stale Massengil in my life for one minute let alone a lifetime. If my only options were to have his baby or death, I would happily stick my head in the oven immediately.

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