Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Kelly Osbourne Paid Attention in Sex Ed

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If there's one thing Kelly Osbourne wants you to know, it's that her vagina is clear and ready for takeoff. Count Bratula recently spoke with the Daily Mail about the importance of getting tested for the STDs: "Alcohol and drugs impair your judgment. I know it's because I was drunk that I had unprotected sex. I'm not the kind of person who talks about my sex life, but I'm not afraid to talk about contraception. I go three, maybe four times a year to get tested (for sexually transmitted infections) and most of the time I don't even need to. I just go for peace of mind." Please, this girl needs to get tested that often purely on the basis that she's friends with vaginal wasteland Paris Hilton. God knows what airbourne diseases linger within a one mile radius of her toxic coochie. I'm sure there's a giant carbon monoxide cloud constantly hovering over whatever area the heiress just so happens to be terrorizing. So I say bravo, Kelly Osbourne for acting like a responsible adult. Now if you'll kindly remove my wig, we'll be all good.

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