Thursday, October 9, 2008

An Open Letter to Broke Hogan

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Dear Mr. Brooke Hogan,
Where do I begin? Well, unlike most people, I happen to think you have a good body. Sure it's a little mucular and manish but so what? It's what God gave you, and I thoughroughly believe in flaunting what you've gots. However (and this is a big however. I'm talking the size of your adam's apple), you are doing yourself no favors. First of all, your outfits look like they were picked out by a blind tranny hooker with a deep obsession for Charo. Second of all, I don't care if you're 100 lbs or 200 lbs-you don't shove 10 pounds of sugar in a five pound sac. Or in your case, 10 lbs of balls in a five pound jock strap. It seriously looks like you tried to wiggle into Christina Aguilera's sexy undies and busted them wide open. But being the resourceful mangal you are, you just tied those bitches right up with some of the loose thread and went onstage thinking we'd be none the wiser. Sadly, that is not so. You need start respecting your body, and dressing it appropriately. And by appropriately I do not mean turtlenecks and aplica sweaters. You can still dress sexy but please, for the love of God, stop getting your clothes from the Limited Too. For all our sakes. Because I really don't want to see your man business making a special appearance at one of your concerts. Thank you.
Kisses and Bitchslaps,
Mrs. M

1 comments:

Ali-ers said...

"your outfits look like they were picked out by a blind tranny hooker with a deep obsession for Charo."
Oh! Mrs. M - you make me LOL!!! :D

 
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