Wednesday, October 29, 2008

We All Know This Won't End Well

It's no secret-Joaquin Phoenix is crazy in the brains. The boy just ain't right. His latest antics? The Oscar nominated actor says that he is going to quit the acting biz for music. Last night at the Paul Newman benefit, the Oscar nominee told Extra, "I want to take this opportunity... also to give you the exclusive and just talk a little bit about the fact that this will be my last performance as an actor... I'm not doing films anymore." The interviewer Jerry Penacoli, obviously aware of who the fuck Joaquin Phoenix is and that he just gets on the sauce and says random shit sometimes asked "Are you serious?" Phoenix, who was being followed by his own camera crews, reiterated, "Yeah. I'm working on my music. I'm done. I've been through that." Today, Extra contacted Phoenix's rep for clarification and got this response: "That is what he told me."
Personally I think we should get House on the case because for all we know bitch could just be suffering from a cockroach inhabiting his brain ala Kate Beckinsale in "Brokedown Palace". Well! You never know! It could happen. And wouldn't you feel bad for calling poor little Joaquin bonkers? I know I sure would. On the real though, he probably didn't know he said all that. In his head he probably said, "I simply adore being a thespian. I consider it a great honor and really aspire to follow a similar career path to Sidney Poitier or Sean Connery. I respect the dedication to their craft and look forward to having many wonderful years and experiences in cinema."

If this does turn out to be true, I think it will be a grand growth movie for Joaquin. After all, as we all know, there's nothing better for an addict than doing music gigs all across the country. I am sure he will spend his downtime going to AA meetings and reading self help books.


Aliers said...

Cockroach in his brain! And you know House could totes find that shite before the first commerical break too!

I thought I was the only person who saw Brokedown Palace.
Yay, now there is two of us :D

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