Wednesday, October 8, 2008


We are facing a national crisis here, people! And no, I'm not talking about Wall Street or Khloezilla coming unanounced to a town near you. I am talking about the rolled jeans epedemic. Yes, rolled mothafucking jeans! Katie Holmes, Pink, and now Lindsay Lohan have been affected by the fug, and it looks as if the fever is spreading. There are probably women (and some dudes) all across the globe that are in their homes right now thinking to themselves "you know what? I should roll my jeans up! It looked good on Lindsay Lohan-I'll be a trendsetter!" I am here to tell you no. It is not a good idea and you should not do it. I'm seriously beginning to think it is like the mysterious airbourne virus from "The Happening". One minute an innocent person has perfectly good judgement, and the next they are rolling up their shit like Angela fucking Bauer without even realizing what they are doing. We must work together to contain this mindsickness and work together to stop it. If you see a friend rolling up their jeans, I urge you to attempt to persuade them that they are not well and must immediately burn said jeans. If they do not cooperate, run. Run as far as you can. When you are safely in hiding, contact your local authorities or the psychiatric ward. It's your only choice. Friends do not let friends wear rolled jeans. This is not Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.


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