Monday, October 13, 2008

YEAH! It's My All Time Favorite Snooze Inducing Couple!!!

Where oh where have Ryan Phillipe and Abbie Cornish been? Probably knitting doilies and playing thrilling crossword puzzles on the most salacious world leaders of the 19th century. Ryan and Abbie, you must put down the pencil and come out into the world now and again. Otherwise I begin to worry that the dust and cobwebs covering your netheregions have engulfed you, creating some sort of cocoon that has left you parylyzed. Mr. and Ms. Ambien were out and about yesterday (blinded by the seldom seen sun, no doubt) to hang out with Ryan's children Ava and Deacon. Lucky them. I'm sure these two are about as exciting as rum raisin pudding day at the local convalescent home. Now, I don't know what these two are saying to little Ava and Deacon, but I'm sure it goes something like this:
Abbie: Ava, do you know the story of the beet?
Ava: As in the nasty tasting vegetable?
Abbie: Actually, it's a flower, though everyone thinks it is a vegetable.
Ava: Wonderful.
Abbie: Did you know the Romans used them as a medicine for constipation?
Ava: No.
Abbie: Isn't that funny? Don't tell your mother I told you that. She might consider it inappropriate for two girls to be speaking on such matters.
Ava: Hm.
Abbie: Anyway, I rather think the beet gets an awfully bad rap. Sure it tastes like dirt and has almost zero nutritional value and look completely unappetizing.
Ava: But?
Abbie: Well, not every vegetable-oops! or flower-can be as exciting as the squash, a delectable as the tomato or as exotic as the zuchini.
Ryan: Ah, so true. So true. I do agree with you ever so much my darling. There is something to be said for being bland. Why, I myself identify with this beet. Who needs fun and excitement when you can kick back with a nice book such as Alexis de Tocqueville's Democracy in America. Or spending a quiet evening playing Chutes and Ladders.
Abbie: Remember that time where I rolled as your player? I even moved your token instead of my own!
Ryan: That was certainly a wild evening!
Abbie: It certainly was, Ryan. It certainly was.


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