Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Amy Winehouse is *gag* into Kiny Sex, Thresome *gag*

What I am about to share with you will most likely disturb you, but defientely will not shock you. According to Page Six, Amy Winehouse is into unconventional sex including threesomes and "gross stuff" that is evidently so nast it cannot be mentioned in a magazine. The publication reports:
"Amy Winehouse says her marriage to Blake Fielder-Civil is kaput, according to Britain's News of the World. The drug-addled singer says her husband left her for a blond German model, Sophie Schandorff. "It's over," the tabloid quoted Winehouse as saying. "There's no way back for us now. It was never going to last. We were only together for sex." And, according to one of her pals, also quoted by the newspaper, it wasn't ordinary sex. "Just like they were with drugs, they pushed themselves to the limit," said the unnamed friend. "They were into threesomes. It was Blake's idea, but Amy said she'd been with women before so it wasn't a problem. And the pair of them were into some real kinky stuff, not just the usual bondage and sex games but really gross stuff you couldn't mention in a newspaper.'"
Now, I'm a curious person by nature, so a part of me is dying to know what is so all out disgusting that you can't print it in NOTW. The other part of me is rationalizing that this is Amy Winehouse we're talking about, and I most likely do not want to know. Because once you have a mental image of Amy Winehouse doing some crazy sex acts burned into your brain, you'll most likely be so scarred that you will lose any and all urges to ever have sex again. Megan Fox, Scarlett Johansson and Robert Downey Jr. could walk up to you and be all "Let's do this thing!" and you would only be able to weep and rock yourself while incoherantly mumbling about Blake snorting coke from Winehouse's cooch.


ChicChickory said...

I shouldn't have read this blog right before lunch.

Madam Miaow said...

What? Does it require implements? Tools? Pets? Food? Sticky-back plastic?

Glove puppets?

Because once you have a mental image of Amy Winehouse doing some crazy sex acts burned into your brain,

Yup, you went and planted that seed where it took root and now look what you've gone and done.

Jees-as! Get out of my brain! (Hmm, must try that one ...)

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