Friday, November 28, 2008

Ashlee Simpson Babay Get $2 Million Modeling Deal

Actually, the Pete Wentz/Ashlee Simpson spawn Bronx Mowgli is banking his parents a cool $2 mil for his first exclusive photos, but it's basically the same as pimping him out for Vogue or OK! or Wood Builder Weekly. "I see Ashlee and Pete coming in at the low seven figures mark,” says Hollywood publicist Howard Bragman. “Two million seems like a good, solid figure for Ashlee and Pete. It’s a two-celeb couple, so that’s a boost for them.” 2 million for a picture of a baby?!? Nonsense! It's a baby for crying outloud. They all look the same! They spit and drool and look like Walter Matthau. End of story!
Bragman also goes on to say that in the past ,Jungle Book baby wouldn't have been worth as much, but now he's a little more in demand. “Ashlee was the girl who sang along to the tape recorder. It was a PR nightmare. Now, she’s a newlywed and a new mom, so she’s a lot more relatable.” Yeah I totally relate to her. I'm also a talentless biatch riding my sisters coat tails and getting several million dollars for the first pics of me and my gay husband's baby. Aren't we all?
On the real, if $2 million dollars was the going rate for having a baby, my uterus would be a goddamned Easy Bake Oven. I'd be a fucking baby factory. Don't you judge me. You know you were thinking the same thing. It's actually good that we now know children aren't truely priceless. They're worth a couple mil. Unless of course you're a Jolie/Pitt baby, in which case you really are priceless. You can't put a pricetag on the Messiahs.


en-vee said...

2 million is still 2 million too much

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