Monday, November 24, 2008

Human Condom

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Finally Paris Hilton is doing something good for humanity! The airheaded heiress hit up a Pussycat Dolls show at The Viper Room the other evening in head to toe PVC, protecting innocent bystanders from something that would surely require both monthly pills and a lifetime of therapy. After all, Paris' body is a hand grenade filled with something that attacks white blood cells faster than Sean Penn getting his picture taken by the paps. If you ask me, bitch should be required by OSHA to cover her hands, lady parts, eyeballs, ears, and any other orifices at all times, lest she contaminate the masses with her pot luck petri dish of diseases. I'm not sure why the EPA has not yet included her into their Nuclear Waste Policy Act, but I suggest they get on it asap before we find ourselves smack dead in an epidemic. Do we really want to experience the Black Death part deux? I think not.

1 comments:

Johnny Cakes said...

Me: Paris, do you still have that glove?
Paris: Why, do you want to SMELL IT?
Me: No.

 
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