Tuesday, November 11, 2008

It's Ambien Abbie and Rohypnol Ryan!

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Well, well, well! If it isn't my favorite couple in the whole world, Abbie Cornish and Ryan Phillipe! Whenever I'm lying awake at night, unable to catch some zzz's, I immediately begin to think of these two and all of the exciting activities they take part in (knitting, discussing the origin of the pencil, having staring contests, etc). Before I can say "Grover Cleveland was the 24th president of the Unuited States", I'm fast asleep dreaming about Scrabble and stamp collecting. Last night, the dynamically dreary duo left their scrapbooking materials at home, and decided to let loose on the town. Here's how I imagine their conversation to be unfolding.
Abbie: Gee Ryan! That sure was a delightful dinner of dry rolls, beets and lettuce. And the vanilla ice cream for desert was decadent to say the least!
Ryan: Ah yes, I agree. However, I must admit that I added a bit of salt to my beets.
Abbie: Why Ryan! You are well aware of the fact that sodium intake can lead to high cholesterol! You have children for pete's sake. Why would you take such haphazard risks?
Ryan: I don't know Abbie. I guess I figured it might be fun to live on the edge for once.
Abbie: I understand your temptation to throw caution to the wind now and again, but you mustn't let Satan deceive you like that. One day you're adding salt to your beets and the next you're cooking your pasta in sherry sauce. It's a slippery slope my darling man friend.
Ryan: Thank you Abbie. I now see the error of my ways. Where would I be without you? Probably lying in a gutter somewhere or at a homeless shelter. You know, giving dollars to the less fortunate or serving them hot soup.
Abbie: Oh Ryan. You flatter me so. Oh, and might I ask what is in the bag you appear to be carrying?
Ryan: It is a gift for you. Shall you open it now?
Abbie: Yes! Indeed I shall. (She opens the package) Ryan! Oh how delightful! A book on moths! How did you know they were my favorite Anthropoda?
Ryan: I snuck a peek inside your journal.
Abbie: Oh you sly devil! I also have a present for you. Would you like to see?
Ryan: Of course. (He opens the present) An antique thimble! Oh I am positively beaming! You know how much I adore collecting thimbles! Particularly those used in the Victorian era.
Abbie: I know darling. Shall we go home and stare at our newly acquired presents?
Ryan: Yes dear. As long as yo don't get "salty" with me for not spending that time with you.
Abbie: Oh Ryan! That was a magnificent joke. You slay me.

2 comments:

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Aliers said...

HAHAHAHA! I ♥ the bit about the beats :)

 
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