Monday, November 10, 2008

Paint By Numbers

Have you ever thought to yourself, "Self, how can I get the old school Hollywood look of Dita Van Teese without all that pesky plastic surgery?" Well, now you can with the new paint by numbers kit shown here on Evan Rachel Wood. Simply spackle the white cement on your face for that delicate porcelain skin effect, shave your eyebrows and replace them with the Color Wonder Crayola marker in burnt shit brown, and finish things off with blood of your enemy red for that kissable lip shade popularlized by the queen of burlesque. But you better hurry-this set is a limited time offer and Evan has been snatching them up by the coffinful! Act now while supplies last! (Creepy, pervy aging goth sold seperately. Class dignity and self respect not included)


Aliers said...

"Color Wonder Crayola marker in burnt shit brown" hahahahahhaa!

I wonder what Dita thinks about this whole mini-Dita phenomenon?

Did you hear that one of the reasons they split was because Dita wanted M to grow up and behave maturely?
He totes sounds like a loser for citing that as a reason to end their relationship.

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