Sunday, November 2, 2008

Those Shoes Were Not Meant for the Likes of You

Beyonce has yet to release her "I am Sasha Fierce" album, but I am already sick as shit of all this "Sasha Fierce" business. I'm not trying to personally drag Bey through the mud, but let's face the facts: some girls were made for a lovely, comfortable, well fit pair of orthapedic shoes, and others were meant for 7 inch ballet fetish shoes. And I think we both know what side of the fence Beyonce falls on. There's no point in fighting it, Bey! There is nothing wrong with just being who you are. In fact, I'm sure more people love vanilla ice cream with a teaspoon of sprinkles than Cherry Garcia drizzled in hot fudge, peanut butter sauce, a mound of cherries and nuts, and an entire can of whip cream. Not many people have the stomach for all that. Don't get me wrong-we all surely appreciate your effort to branch out and show us all how very versatile you can be, but enough is enough, sweetie. No offense, but you aren't Rihanna. She may be in the same genre as you, but RiRi in fetish gear somehow seems natural. The thought of you tying some bitch up in your secret sex layer is laughable. Now please, for all of our sakes, take off those shoes and slip into a nice, sensible Michael Kors outfit and leave the fetish shoes to Karen Elson. K?


Aliers said...

Those shoes scur me.
I have bad ankles and a shiver of fear actually went down my spine when I saw them.

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