Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Brad Pitt and His Kids are Betta Than Yew

Is anyone else totally sick of hearing about how Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's kids are all hands across America, United Colors of Benneton, give peace a chance and shit? Pactically all these two can talk about is how they are all different shades of skin color and from different parts of the globe yet they are all one blood yakkidy yack. I mean, no shit! Those kids are only on the cover of like, every magazine including Skeet Shooting Weekly, so I think we've all managed to grasp the concept that you are creating a mini UN all under one roof. It's like, I got it the first three hundred times you said it. No need to keep going on about it.
But of course, they do. Pitt recently caught up with "Savior of the World" monthly (or maybe it was just Hello! Magazine), and had this to say about his hundred thousand children: ‘I look down at the family and I see our boy from Vietnam (Pax) and our daughter from Ethiopia (Zahara) and our girl’s from Namibia (Shiloh was born there) and our son who’s from Cambodia (Maddox), and… they are all brothers and sisters, man. (LOL-man!) They are all the same blood. It is such elation to see them all living together, and getting along together, and to know that we were able to give them a home - in some cases, to give them a life. It’s a wonderful thing that we are able to do this because of the jobs we have - and it’s a selfish thing, too, because the rewards are extraordinary. We’ve always said that we’ll carry on until we find a reason to stop doing this - and, no, we haven’t found that reason yet."
Yes, I know. Brad Pitt is a much better person than me. I get it. No need to keep harping on it and rubbing it in. Oh yeah, and Brad Pitt is also a better parent than you are. Because his kids don't watch television commercials and ask for a bunch of crap. Instead, they all make crafts for each other. "The kids don’t ask for big gifts for the reason that they don’t see a lot of the American cartoon television, which is packed with all those manipulative commercials for big toys that look so fantastic. When they do see that stuff is when they start asking for the toys, so we figure if they don’t see them they won’t know they’re there. So we have gifts, but we try to keep the money spent to a minimum. The rule is that everyone’s got to make something for someone else, you got to put time into it."
I bet Zahara is going to sculpt something bigger and better than the Taj Mahal for Brad, Pax is probably working on a Vatican replica for her holiness, Saint Angelina, and Max is probably working on another planet. One that has no war or violence and no carbon monoxide. Because that's the only place that would be good enough for the Jolie/Pitts.


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