Thursday, December 18, 2008

Days of Our Britney Continues...

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So yesterday there was word that Britney Spears is gradually moving back in with ex-husband Kevin Federline. Today however, there are rumors roaming about that Brittles is dating Paris Hilton's used goods, Benji Madden. According to sources, Brit's dadday Jamie Spears made a short list of guys Brit is allowed to romantically pursue. This list included the gay dude that doesn't look like a serial killer from Gossip Girl, Butterface Micheal Phelps, and Benji. After realizing that she doesn't have a penis and she's not an underwater mammal, she opted for the seemingly normal of the three. “They’ve been on a few dates." says a source about the supposed new couple. "They met once at The Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills for dinner in a hotel suite. She appears to like Benji a lot, and he seems to really like her.”
If this is true, I'm sure Paris will be throwing a middle school hissy fit and scrawling nasty shit about Brit in every bathroom wall in Hollyhood. You know, while she's blowing random dudes in the bathroom stall. She's probably so used to having a dick in her mouth, she can do just about anything while doing it. Just like chewing gum and walking.
And I don't know about you, but there is no way in hell I would ever hit anything that had been spelunking in the Hilton caves. God only knows what kind of rank diseases he caught from that ho. My best guess would be shit they don't even have a name for yet. Stay away Britney! Stay. Away.

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