Sunday, December 14, 2008

Douchebags in Training

I will give you three guesses as to who these fine, upstanding members of society are. Give up? Why they are the offspring of Hugh Hefner, of course. The one with the smug ass "I gets the bitches cause my daddy's rich" expression on his face and sitting on the throne is 17 year old Cooper, while the one standing and looking slightly embarrassed is 18 year old Marston. Although they are only a year apart in age, the two have very different views on what they word "relationship" means. Yes, I know that's hard to believe what with them having such an expemplary role model as a grandfather. I mean father.
In an interview for US Weekly, Marston says ”I’m not going to have multiple girlfriends — not at the same time. I can’t imagine that.” Instead opting for the radical principle of dating one person instead of stringing along some scraggly ass hos who are only screwing you in the hopes to take their clothes off for your father. Madness, I say!
Cooper on the other hand, shares his father's view on love, stating that “I can imagine doing that. I don’t think it’s an odd thing to do. You date around to try to find a connection with some girl. One girl comes in the front door while the other one gets pushed out the back.”
Oh! Excuse me, Mr. Hefner! I didn't know someone without any hair on his balls could be so demanding! I mean really-who does this little prick think he is? He can't even fucking vote or buy cigarrettes, but he's so pompous that he figures girls are lining up to be used by him? What a little shit face! Of course he's naive enough not to realize that the only reason his 475 year old father hooks up with 18 year old used up snatch that looks like expired lunchmeat is because he runs a multibillion dollar company. What a total jerkoff. I see something very itchy in his near future.


Anonymous said...

Careful you are talking about the MAN, now his son might be a different thing but he has the right to speak of his mind and until he makes a move that can be judged why don't you hold on the bitchy smart ass remarks.

Respect the legend.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha! Hysterically written!

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