Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Hugh Hefner Has a Classy New Girlfriend

Ok first of all, let us address the fact that Hef's new girlfriend is a brunette. A brunette! Old man Hefner's eyesight must really be shot, because there's no way in helly hell he would choose to "date" (And when I say "date" I mean let her suck on his old wrinkled Father Time peen) a girl whose hair is not blonde and brain not fried from years of bleach fumes and Kettle One. He probably just sees a dark blur which he has mistaken for a minidress. Anyway, if you care, new girlfriend is January 2009's Playboy of the Month, 23 year old Dasha Astafieva (as if her name matters) from the Ukrain. Or as Hef better knows her, Girlfriend # 479,142.
Now I know there are tons of people out there who think of Old Man Hefner as a major P.I.M.P., but this whole dating someone younger than your contacts grosses me the hell out. To put things in perspective, I am 4 years older than this chick and OMH is a few years older than my grandfather. That is just nast, people. And there is no amount of money in the world that would make me think otherwise.
That being said, she is way better looking than his new bookends. I'm sorry, but the twins are not cute. And anyone who says they are seriously needs to get their eyesight checked. That means you, Hef.


ChicChickory said...

Dang! She's tall!

Akeelers said...

She's pretty but trashy just the same. This heifer took her panties off on the red carpet in front of a bunch of photographers!

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