Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Kirsten Dunst Has a Stalker. Yes, I Said Kirsten Dunst.

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Please excuse me for a moment. I'm just having some trouble adjusting to the fact that Kirsten Dunst has a fan let alone a stalker. Nevertheless, the actress is seeking a restraining order on Christopher Smith, who alledgedly broke into her home on the 20th of November. Smith was caught on the property by Dunst's assistant who performed a citizen's arrest. Seriously! Can you even imagine? That bitch must be crazy because you don't hear of many burglars who surrender to civilians politely asking them to please stay until they may be apprehended and obtained by the local authorities. I mean, that's just not logical. Any other person would run like hell to change their clothes, dye their hair, and deny the whole thing. I bet that dude wasn't even there to stalk Kirsten Dunst. He was probably the cable guy, pizza delivery boy, or just a thoughtful soul who came to swap out all her crusty old drawers for new, clean ones so that the public may stop smelling her stank ass from three miles away. We should be thanking anonymous knicker swapper for his civic duty to mankind, not punishing him. Isn't being called a Kirsten Dunst stalker punishment enough?

1 comments:

ChicChickory said...

Probably a fellow re-habber. You can develop some strong bonds when going thru the "shakes".

 
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