Wednesday, January 14, 2009

America's Next Top Hot Mess

Ooh girl. The cast offs from America's Next Top Model were looking anything but exemplary at last night's Launch Party for ANTM Obsessed on Oxygen. In fact, with the exception of Dani who was fierce as hell, all these bitches looked five shades of beat. Like catalog models for Chadwicks of Boston who got into a streetfight with a dozen alley cats after surviving a hurricane and getting wasted during happy hour at TGI Friday's. I mean just look at Samantha (pictured up top). I'll be damned if girlfriend does not look like Barbituate Barbie after being retrieved from a blender. I mean, I know these chicks aren't exactly going to be walking the LV runway anytime soon, but damn. Pull it together.
By far though the worst of the worst was Jael with her retired porn star meets daytime stripper look on the red carpet. That chick looks like she was rode hard and put away wet. You just know her favorite pickup line is "Hey babe, you got a light? *cough cough* Sorry. It's my asthma. Hey, can you hold my Marlboro Red and Jack Daniels for a second? I need to throw up real quick. Then we can make out."

Dani is not pleased with this fuckery.


Emily said...

Aww, I loved Jael, but I agree she is the epitome of hot mess here! Dani and Jaslene are the only ones who look like top models, and I think they are actually the only ones who have gotten anywhere NEAR the equivalent of an LV runway.

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