Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Cosmo's Fun Fearless Males

Cosmo has come out with their annual list of fun, fearless dudes, and I'm a little disappointed to say the least. I mean, I will agree with Timbaland, because he is a bad mamajama who is really a titan of industry and can resurrect even the lamest careers. I'll even go along with Rainn Wilson, Michael C. Hall, Blair Underwood, Aaron Eckhart and Joshua Jackson because I like them just fine. But Mario Lopez?!? What has he even done this year besides run on the beach like he's Halle Berry in 'Die Another Day'? What makes him so fearless? Going outside without sunscreen? And what about that kid Chase Crawford? He's the poor man's Jason Priestley! But the choice I really can't stand, the one that appalls and offends me greater than everything except the two elections of George W., is Adam Effing Levine. I hate that douchebag. Loathe him with every fabric of my being. Not only is he not a friend of the ladies, I consider him an enemy. Any dude that trash talks how his girlfriend was in bed to a worldwide publication deserves to be exiled from Earth, as his douchery is not fit to be around other civilized human beings. I say your list fails, Cosmo. Just like your shitty writing about 503 ways to please a man while losing all self respect.


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