Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I Hate His Face

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Have you ever known or seen someone whose face just rubbed you the wrong way? And no matter what they did or said, you could not help but regurgitate some of your breakfast just thinking about their mugs? They could rescue three hundred puppies from a burning building, help elderly women cross the street and give every single solitary last cent of theirs to the Derek Zoolander Children Who Can't Read Good and Want to Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too charity, and you would still be unable to look them in the corneas because you find them just that gross. Well that is me with Adrien Grenier. The only difference is, he does not save puppies, nor does he assist the elderly, nor does he give his dough to ficticious charities in an attempt to better the world. He just walks around like he's hot shit, flirting with girls who would normally be way out of his league, and being fug. Fugger than fug. He's the fulgiest fuggle that ever fugged. He looks like the missing link, except less sexy and intelligent. I know it is highly judgemental of me, but I just find him to be the single, solitary most unattractive person on the planet. I would seriously let Larry King, Donald Trump, and Mike Tyson hit it before I let Adrian Grenier's paws bat at my lady business. And his name. Uh. Don't get me started. It sounds like a cross between a phlem causing sinus infection, grenadine, and Satan. Yes, I said Satan. And don't you even dare try to judge me. If you are being honest with yourself, you know you are probably thinking of that person whose face makes you want to punch store mannequins. You know who I'm talking about.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

He's such a beautiful man inside and out. Outside: great hair, beautiful eyes, full lips, white teeth. Inside: supports environmental causes, promotes voting, volunteers at a food co-op, organizes food drives, participates in fundraisers for chartiy: water and Kiva Foundation, etc. What do you do you little fucking nobody? Fake pink hair, little dog, lounging in the sun, who do you think you are Paris Hilton? Have little respect for people who've accomplished more than you or keep your stupid-ass opinions to yourself. Better yet help someone in some way instead of putting them down.

Aliers said...

Who knew that Adrian's mom read Slacker Chic?

Mrs. M. said...

Yes. You are right. That is what I do. I lounge in the sun-outside of my New York home, with my little dog-that I rescued-with my pink hair-that's a wig. Anyone who would take that picture seriously has some issues with understanding irony. (I know that's a big word for you, hon. But I suggest looking inside this thing called a "dictionary" for the appropriate defintion.) And I won't even get started on my degrees from schools you most likely cannot even pronounce. I wouldn't want to confuse you. Because obviously, you have some um...issues so good luck with that one. Anyway, I wish you all the best in your Burger King career, anonymous. Oh, I also sincerely hope that some day you can grow a pair of lady balls. After all, if you're going to come at someone like a big, bad bitch, hiding behind "anonymous" sort of just makes it comical. So in the meantime, fuck off. Ok? Have a beautiful day bitch!

Mrs. M. said...

And Aliers, you crack me the hell up!

 
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