Thursday, January 29, 2009

The New York Post is Mean!

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Mean you guys! Mean!!! I thought I was major class A bitch until I saw this little cartoon of a very obese Jessica Simpson telling Tony Romo that she's leaving him for Ronald McDonald. So, on one hand I guess I should thank the New York Post for making me look like a fairy dust sprinkling angel who saves kittens from trees and babies from burning buildings. On the other hand, holy damn that is some seriously wrong shit! I mean, I have a stone cold heart of clay, but even I feel a twinge of sympathy for Jessica Simpson. After all, she's not fat. Just a little curvy. However, it's not even really the fact that they're making fun of her that pisses me off. It's the blatant hypocrisy of her having to be slim and slender and society's view of hot, when men in the biz only have to be funny or smart or talented (and certainly not all three) to be respected. Do you see The NYP poking fun at Kevin James because he's a fat ass? How about the singer from Fall Out Boy? That bitch is fat. Or even Dr. Phil. He peddles weight loss books like he's Matthew McConaughey and shit when, in fact, he could definetly stand to lose a few. Or drop off the face of the Earth. I could honestly go for either. But Jessica Simpson? Not fat. Not fat at all. And believe me, I'm not just saying that to be nice. Because as we all know, I just wouldn't do that. So shame on you New York Post. Not only for being a bunch of hypocritical fuckwads, but for forcing me to come to the defense of Jessica Simpson. Shame!

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