Thursday, January 1, 2009

Not the Way I Wanted to Start the New Year

I never thought I'd say this, but I actually feel sorry for Diddy. You just know his laughter is dripping with all sorts of uncomfortableness and sheer confusion. Does Joaquin look like Jesus' fat freeloading cousin for a movie role or because he's batshit crazy? What is going on here? Should he laugh? Should he move? Should he politely nod his head? What is the protocall for talking with someone who has frogs in their head? Personally I think despite his obvious discomfort, he's doing a good job of dealing with the situation. Me, I don't know that I could pull it together quite so well. It would take a mountain to hold me back from asking "What the hell Joaquin?!? Remember when you used to be hot? What the hell happened to that? And have you heard of an apple? Maybe you should try eating one, because whatever you are on a diet of (my guess is Jack Daniels and Burger King) it is not working out for you one bit." I would then take a ruler to the clearly sane Casey Affleck for perpetuating this fuckery and allowing Joaquin to fly down the slippery slope to insanity and addiction. Bad Casey Affleck! If I were him, I would take a Lady Bic to his ass in the dead of night and at least shave his Old Testament Moses beard. Normally I love the beard, but I'm pretty sure he has a nest of baby blue jays up in that shit, and it just doesn't look sanitary.


ChicChickory said...

LOL! That is awful! I think Pidoodle looks pretty bad as well, but Joaquin?!? WTF? That damage is so bad it could be irreversible.

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