Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Spike Presents the Top 7 Butter Bodies and 13 Hottest Dead Girls

I am thoughroughly disgusted and appalled. Won't you please join me? Spike Television has come out with two very degrading, very assholish lists that I thought you might be equally enraged about. The first is the top 7 butterbodies-in other words, women who have pretty faces and bad bodies. Because the beer bellied sloppy uneducated jerkoffs that write for Spike really have room to judge. You just know they all look like Seth Rogan after a two month showering hiatus and a strict beer and pizza diet. Among the women on their "fat list" was Drew Barrymore whom they said this about: "Drew Barrymore’s weight fluctuates like a yo-yo. The star of 50 First Dates and Charlie’s Angels can look super hot or super plump and blubbery. Drew blames her vegetarianism for her fluctuations in weight. She says she basically lives on carbs and eats whatever she wants. As a bonafide star, Drew cannot do this. Otherwise every hot woman in Hollywood will adopt a similar mentality and the world will be void of super thin, super hot women". They also berated America Ferrerra saying that she "gives women an excuse to be fat" and call Mandy Moore overweight saying "Recently she re-emerged looking chunky, pudgy and out of shape. It’s like she spent the last few years on a couch watching television and eating tubs of Neapolitan ice cream. Now that she’s fat, her annoying-ness shines through. She needs to do everyone a favor and get fit again." The motherfucking nerve! Anyway, here are their picks for the butter bodies. Let's all feel insulted:

7. Sara Ramirez
6.) Drew Barrymore
5.) Salma Hayek
4.) America Ferrera
3.) Mandy Moore
2.) Liv Tyler
1.) Tyra Banks
The royal douchebags also came out with a list of the 13 hottest dead girls, because they obviously have no class nor coothe. I mean, who the hell does not think ranking deceased women is tacky and disrespectful to say the least? Anyway, here's who the assholes picked:
13.) Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez
12.) Jean Harlow
11.) Anna Nicole Smith
10.) Princess Di
9.) Dorothy Stratten
8.) Selena
7.) Edie Sedgewick
6.) Krissy Taylor (who, btw, was 17 when she passed! Fucking pervs!)
5.) Gia Carangi
4.) Jayne Mansfield
3.) Aaliyah
2.) Sharon Tate
1.) Marilyn Monroe

How mothershitting ironic is it that they put Marilyn Monroe as the hottest, yet she was heavier than every single solitary woman on their "fat" list? Bunch of dumbshit morons! Go back to jerking it in your mother's basement losers. I now encourage you to summon up all your anger, putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and tell these fatties they can go fuck themselves. Which I'm sure they do anyway. At least when their blowup dolls give out.


Akeelers said...

This shyt is wrong on so many levels! Eff Spike!

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