Tuesday, January 27, 2009

When Crazy Met Crazier

Yes this is my second Angelina Jolie post in a row. You just have to deal with it, because I could not sit back and not post about the chance encounter between Angie and Mickey Rourke. Aka Crazy and Crazier. You can choose which is which. At the Sag awards Sunday evening, the two actors apparently bumped into each other, and suprisingly the universe did not implode. I know, pretty crazy right? I figured some shit would start going down Hancock style. Now I'm not sure exactly what transpired in the convo between these two, but I can probably guess it went a little somethin' like this:
Mickey: Wait a minute...don't I know you? Weren't you that cokewhore stripper I spent that weekend in Vegas with that one time?
Angie: No silly! I wasn't a stripper.
Mickey: Are you sure? Because I could have sworn I spent an entire weekend snorting coke off your ass.
Angie: Oh no, that was definetly me. I'm just saying that I wasn't a stripper.
Mickey: I knew you looked familiar! I never forget a face. Unless of course it's my own. One of my own. I've had like, twelve so it's hard to keep count. Anyway, give daddy a kiss.

Mickey: So what have you been up to? I see you're at the SAG awards. That's pretty cool.
Angie: Actually I'm just here for the orphans.
Mickey: What?
Angie: I'm doing it for the kids.
Mickey: What kids?
Angie: Your kids?
Mickey: I don't have any kids.
Angie: Oh. Then I'm doing it for Pakistan.
Mickey: What?
Angie: Refugees?
Mickey: I don't understand what you're saying. You're confusing me.
Angie: Yeah, I get that a lot.
*Brad Pitt Enters the Scene*
Angie: Mickey, I'd like to introduce you to the father of my 243 children.
Mickey: Oh hey dude! Didn't I buy a couple dime bags off you in Hollywood Blvd?
Brad: Uh..I...you are...I mean...no! That must have been...um...you know..Denzel Washington.
Mickey: Yeah, maybe. Anyway, how ya been?
Brad: Pretty good, pretty good.
Mickey: Hey you wouldn't happen to have a couple of dime bags on your right now would you? I'm totally jonesing for some dank.
Brad: Oh...you trickster! You know I don't um...do that stuff anymore.
Mickey: That's a shame dude.
Angie: Well I don't have any dank, but I've got a couple of lines with your name on it.
Mickey: You do?!?
Angie: Of course! How the hell else do you think I keep up with all those freakin' kids. I mean, it's like I'm running a fucking United Colors of Benneton Day Care up in my shit.
Mickey: True dat, true dat!
Angie: Anyway, here you go *hands over the stuff* I'll see you later. It's good talking to you. Anyway, Brad are you ready to scurry on over to Africa with that malaria medicine?
Brad: What?
Angie: Build a hospital in Burma?
Brad: Huh?!?
Angie: Adopt a child from Chile?
Brad: *to himself* Sometimes I wonder if her vagina is even worth it. Sigh.

Angie: What's that you just said?
Brad: I said you're the best honey. I love you.
Angie: Yeah, that's what I fucking thought. Bitch.


sexy hollywood star said...

Nice report. Jolie is beautiful. I love jolie and also love kate winslet.
BTW, i also find some hot picture of Kate Winslet. You can find at


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