Wednesday, February 25, 2009

It's a Challenge

The wickedly hot ladies over at Scandalous Housewife have challenged me to a duel! Ok not really, but how old school would that be? In fact they have offered up a thought provoking brain teaser in the form of a desert island challenge. So what's the what's what's the scenario? Here it is:
"Your ship has sunk. You have, of course, been stranded on a deserted island. You have salvaged a copy of the King James Version of the Bible and a copy of the complete works of Shakespeare. Nothing else. The very next day you find one of those Arabian Lamps in the sand. Of course, you rub it and, of course, a rather grumpy Genie appears. “‘Let’s get this straight - there is a recession going on. There are restrictions on the three wishes now. I don’t do water or air transport now so no boats, planes or magic carpets. As for electronics, forget it. There isn’t the infrastructure on this island. “‘I can let you have one book and I mean one VOLUME, one essential item and one luxury item. Now hurry up and make your choices, I have to get to those five other islands you are going to nominate!"

Heere's Mah Choices:
Book: Alex Garland's The Beach. I have read this so many times that my copy is in shambles. My fave book ever.

One Essential Item: Seventy Five Thousand Boxes of Kotex. Official tampon of Mrs. M ( was tempted to choose a machete, but I'd rather have the tampons.)

Luxury Item: Well, I would choose my husband hands down because he is good at the business. But if I can't have him, I would choose a vibrator. Waterproof, of course for practicality. Or is that considered an electronic? If it is, I would go with a thousand packs of gum. Trident White in Wintergreen. I love that shit.

Now I was going to choose Atlanta Cougar's Wild Kingdom to challenge, but she has already been taken. Therefore, here are the five sexy biatches I would love to see take the challenge:

My beloved partner in crime and fellow Amish stalker
The Beautiful Emily from
Deranged My Love
The Brilliant and Outspoken MM from
Madam Miaow Says...
One of the Dopest Mother Cluckers Ever, Johnny Cakes from
Tasty Cakes from the Far Out
My Hot Shiz BB Lovas, Akeelers and Aliers from


Johnny Cakes said...

I suppose I can endulge your fantasy. Where do we post these responses, yo yo? Also, is the ATL Cougar looking for a man-whore? Would she like one? I would like to fill that position.

P.S., a vibrator is totally electronic...but a jelly vagina is not.

Suburbia Steph said...


Akeelers said...

Wow! Okay this is requires a lot of thought. Give me time. I'll be back with a response.

Madam Miaow said...

Well, I can't possibly beat Mrs M's choice of vibrator. Rocks and branches simply couldn't compete. I'd check the island, though, in case there were exotic fruits or vegetables that might fit the bill.

No, my essential would have to be a MIRROR! And tweezers. Don't ask!

I'd be tempted to ask for a manual. No, not by exotic fruits, the sort that comes as a book (all the pages stuck together — oh my god I am so suffering from single entendritis!). A manual for practical purposes such as how to knit a parachute from human hair. Or how to make fire with Chanel No 5.

If it was a novel I'd choose Nabokov's Lolita which is so relentlessly darkly funny. Just to remind me of the human mess I'd left behind.

Kotex? Nah! If it was only me I'd leave a trail. Or make art out of it.

Luxury? Some sort of hooch set-up to make alcohol. And a crystal flute to drink it from because we shouldn't let our standards slip, said she typing in her pyjamas.

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