Thursday, February 19, 2009

Jean Vest.

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Dear Lindsay Lohan,
Damn bitch. You've got a lot of nerve. First to put us through the emotional torture of "I Know Who Killed Me" and "Just My Luck" and then you refuse to tell your sour puss face making girlfriend to stop with the damn high top tennies and scarecrow hats and then you torture us with having to bear witness to your overprived legging line and now you're wearing jean vests?!? What the hell did we ever do to you? I mean really. When will the madness stop? When will you forgive us for whatever transgressions we committed unto you and halt this visual charade of fug? When?!? I'm seriously going to need a date before I fashion a boat knot and hang myself from the rafters. There's only so much fug a girl can take before the world becomes too ugly to endure. Whatever happened to that spritely fresh faced girl we all knew and tolerated? The one that weighed more than my winter coat and did not have the voice of Selma Bouvier? Would it be possible to go ahead and get her back? Trade her in for the current run down, used model? That would really be aces. If not, do you think you could at least quit with the goddamned jean vest? You're half tempting me to make the end of May and just poke my eyes out with a baby spoon. Thanks for the consideration dollface.
Kisses & Bitchslaps,
Mrs. M

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