Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Michael Phelps Might Face Criminal Charges for Hitting a Bong

In "cops must not have anything better to do" news, South Carolina authorities in the county where Michael Phelps was spotted hitting the bong say they are considering a criminal charge against the Olympic swimmer. Lt. Chris Cowan said Tuesday that Richland County sheriff's investigators are gathering more information about the photo, which showed Phelps allegedly smoking some sweet cheeba. Cowan did not specify what charge was being considered and declined to discuss details of the investigation.
Ok first of all, whose on this fucking case? Chief Wiggum? It's like yeah, you better run right over to the scene of the crime and start taking samples from three months ago. I mean, are you really telling me that South Carolina tax payer moolah is going to go to this? Investigating someone who smoked a little weed three months ago?!? What are they expecting to find? A Columbian drug lord at the end of the bong tunnel? I'm certainly glad we have our prioroties straight. After all, we wouldn't want to waste any time solving murders or investigating rape or assault charges.

And if you'll allow me to get all Johnny Cochran for a moment, I would like to add that they can't really prove he was smoking the marijuana. That could easily be flavored tobacco. And isn't there some kind of statute of limitations on this shit? If there isn't there should be. For fuck's sake it's not even a felony! If you ask me, people need to stop worrying about the fact that a 23 year old allegedly hit the bong three months ago, and start worrying about oh, I don't know, the recession, the thousand year war, or maybe even themselves. It's like geez. Get a fucking life.


Suburbia Steph said...

I agree, it's totally ridiculous! If anything, that just made Phelps cooler in my book!

Fashion Addict said...

Seriously, what's the big deal? There just making so much commotion over it because he's a big star. There's much more to care about than this - really.

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