Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Newsflash: Kanye Still Loves the Gays

Unofficial International Goodwill Abassador of the Gays Kanye West is really going to the extra mile to promote homosesssuality the world over. In the latest issue of Details magazine, Kanye continues his "Horray You're Gay!!!" tour of '09 by again talking about how much he loooooves the friends of Dorothy. Says Kanye: "Titles are very important. I like to embody titles, y'know, or words that have negative connotations, and explain why that's good. Take the word gay—like, in hip-hop, that's a negative thing, right? But in the past two, three years, all the gay people I've encountered have been, like, really, really, extremely dope. Y'know, I haven't, like, gone to a gay bar, nor do I ever plan to. But where I would talk to a gay person—the conversation would be mostly around, like, art or design—it'd be really dope. From a design standpoint, kids'll say, 'Dude, those pants are gay.' But if it's, like, good, good, good fashion-level, design-level stuff, where it's on a higher level than the average commercial design stuff, it's, like, gay people that do that. I think that should be said as a compliment. Like, 'Dude, that's so good it's almost . . . gay.'"
You know, this is actually starting to sound like a good idea. In fact, I'm totally going to start telling the douchebags that cut me off on the road or the bitches with a cartful of shit in the express aisle that they are "So fucking hetero. That's right. I said you're fucking hetero. Suck it, Hetero-bitch!" Hmm...actually that sort of rolls right off the tongue. You should try it.
I'm going to follow Kanye's lead by going all Gretchen Wieners and making hetero-bitch thing happen. It'll be this year's "Fetch". You'll see.


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