Thursday, February 19, 2009

No Good Can Come Of This

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Lindsay: Wow Lily, you look really skinny.
Lily: Thanks! Yeah I've been working really hard. Lots of pilates and salads.
Lindsay: Seriously?
Lily: Fuck no! What kind of a chump do you take me for? It's a shitload of coke and pills and booze.
Lindsay: I love it! Very old fashioned. I hear that's how they dieted in the 1800's. Before all the stupid doctors and FDA people and rules and shit.
Lily: I know rules are lame. Just the other day I saw a stop sign and I was like no! Fuck that. Who are you to tell me to stop? You stop! Stupid sign. It's like this isn't Nazi Germany.
Lindsay: OMG I so get where you're coming from. Just the other day this chick was like "Bitch get out of my car!" and I was all "Look, you can't own a car, ok? Just like you can't own a human being. Get with the 20th century!"
Lily: Wow. That is SO meta. You're blowing my fucking mind!
Lindsay: Thanks! Well, I did graduate 8th grade so, you know.
Lily: Dude, you know what we should do? What would be so cool? If you became the president of the States and I became the Prime Minister of England. Then we could get rid of all the stop signs and the rules about drugs! And ugly people. We should definitely get rid of them.
Lindsay: For sure. We can send them to an island or something.
Lily: Yeah, and they would totally end up thanking us because then the kind of ugly people would become the hotties of the island.
Lindsay: Yeah Because they wouldn't have to compete with us!
Lily: They would thank us.
Lindsay: Well, we at least have to wait until Obama's three years in office are up.
Lily: Don't you mean two years?
Lindsay: Duh, yes of course! Frodo slip I guess!
Lily: Obama's cool though. Like the other day I was all "Can I really stay up for four days on a bender?!?" and then I remembered "Yes, I can!"
Lindsay: He's an inspiration.
Lily: For sure.

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