Saturday, March 14, 2009


Hmm...I'm not quite sure whether I want to pet Jessica Alba's coat, or throw Rid at it before beating it repeatedly with a shovel. There's just something really creepy and very Single White Female about wearing hair extensions on your clothes. I didn't like it when Chris March did it, and I sure as shit don't like it now. Besides, if you get that mess wet, forget about it. It's over. Wrap your shit up because it's ruined. Ugh, and I don't even want to think about how it feels on your skin. I'd be afraid it would start talking to me about fava beans, and kiante. I bet it comes to life at night and whispers creepy things to you while you're sleeping. And afterwards it sneaks out and commits crimes it will later frame you for. Indeed I do not like this coat. It is extremely shady. Besides, today it's hair and tomorrow it's what? Fingernails? Eyelashes? Skin? Do. Not. Want!

That goes for you too, Chris March.


Suburbia Steph said...

Sad - you know that bish has the money to get that thing lasered off, if not at the very least, even waxed!


I guess her ugly insides are beginning to catch up with her outside!

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