Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Jon Gosselin: Tempted By the Fruit of Another?

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Seeing as how I got so much love and warm reception following my last Jon and Kate post (and by "love" and "warm reception" I mean emails telling me that I was the love spawn of Satan who will burn in hell for single handidly ruining a marriage) I thought I'd bring you the lastest J&K news via Star Magazine. According to the rag, Jon Gosselin has been getting a little sumpin' sumpin' on the side ever since he moved into that big ass 1.3 million dollar mansion TLC is paying for. Sources say he has been gone nearly every night, drinking and partying with college girls. Star Mag reports:
"The father of twins and sextuplets has been living it up in Huntingdon, Pa., where his mom resides. He turned up uninvited at a Feb. 6 party thrown by Juniata College seniors Erin Albert and Mariel Little — and ended up playing the drinking game beer pong with members of the women's volleyball team! 'He was acting like a drunk, girl-chasing frat boy,' one team member tells Star. 'It really disturbed me. On the show he is so nice, but here, he was acting like an idiot.' The following night he ended up at Memories Sports Bar & Grill. 'He was dirty dancing with several girls from the volleyball team, making out, kissing them on their necks and mouths,' says a witness in the bar. 'He was all over one girl, a long-haired blonde who’s nearly 6 feet tall. He left with several of the girls, including her.'
Now I know this info is coming from "Star", who has not always been the most credible of sources, but they are certainly not the first (or the tenth for that matter) to report that Jon has been acting like a randy frat boy, taking young girls home. In fact, I bet my bottom dollar that right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp and she's probably getting frisky. Right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink' cause she can't shoot whiskey. In which case Kate needs to get her ass down to that watering hole and dig her key into the side ff his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive, carve her name into his leather seat. Then, if she still has the energy, she could take a Louisville slugger to both head lights, and slash a hole in all 4 tires. And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats. Isn't that right, Ty-Ty?
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Oh, and all Jon and Kate photos will be replaced by an unruly ostrich. I'm sick of people crying about cruelty like they're a goddamn startving orphan on a damn Sally Struthers pamphlet. Therefore no more J&K photos.

5 comments:

Suburbia Steph said...

Who can blame the guy for running around? He's probably trying to regain some of that lost masculinity Kate has stripped him of.

Lindsay Will Come At You Like A Spider Monkey said...

I'm convinced people who are fans of Jon and Kate Plus 8 (or whatever the fuck it's called) are insane. Like Octo-mom insane

Mrs. M. said...

they are insane. not to mention cultish and creepy.

Christina said...

Lord, I wonder how long it will take that BabyMama person to track you down and stalk you here?

For what it's worth? http://tinyurl.com/azvrcw

Mrs. M. said...

oooooh nice pic, Christina! Can you say waaaaaasted?!?

 
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