Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Lindsay Lohan Talks, We Don't Even Pretend to Listen

OMG you guys it is soooo hard to be Lindsay Lohan. Like so hard you don't even know. And because you don't know, she's going to tell you over and over and over again just how tough her life is and how she's basically eating moldy sandwiches out of a carboard box. Oh no wait. That's not Lindsay. That's a homeless person. Lindsay gets to wear Balenciaga shoes and drives a Maserati. So Hard!!!!!
The jabberjaw star(?!?) is running her yapper again to E! News talking about how the press is all up in her biznatch. You get that? She's talking to the press about how the press doesn't leave her alone. "They need to stop saying we're fighting," she said of the media's fixation with her boyfriend (yes, boyfriend) Samantha Ronson. "People telling lies about me to her and all this garbage. I'm really a good person and I have a good heart and just want to work. The only reason I go to clubs is to hear Samantha spin or be normal. I don't drink, I don't do drugs and I don't lie," she said. "I love to act and write and be creative, and I want to help people by playing characters that can send a positive message out to whomever may need it." For real! Did you see "I Know Who Killed Me"? I heard it's positivity healed wounded baby kittens.
"I move forward and I change." LiLo continued. "Life's too short not to. If people would just leave my personal life alone—because it's really not that interesting—then I could land a great role. But all the sicko fans and the noise is so distracting." You know, it's not Lindsay's personal life that's so distracting. It's the fact that she's orange. Like neon. Radioactive. I know I find it distracting everytime I see a lifesized Glow Worm with leggings.

"I just want to live the dream that I've worked so hard for since I was 4 years old," she continued. "I've been through a lot in my life. And there are many things I'd like to do to let people know that they just have to be strong." Lindsers also says she'd like to expand her empire, moving on to new ventures. "I'd like to have my own charity, do work overseas, be in Oscar-nominated films, write movies (Don't), produce movies/shows/videos (Please Don't), design clothes (Definitely don't), make music, write books, etc. It's all possible if people would just stop judging me and accusing me and making me out to be this aloof, spoiled, ungrateful and unprofessional person that I am not and could never be."
Ugh. This interview would have been so much shorter and more interresting had she just said "Look, I'm tired of rumors starting. I'm sick of being followed. I'm tired of people lying saying what they want about me. Why can't they back up off me? Why can't they let me live? I'm gonna do this my way take this for just what it is, biatch."

And yes, I know that pic is old, but I can't have radioactivity funking up this site.


Lindsay Will Come At You Like A Spider Monkey said...

Oh Linds. My hate for you really knows no bounds. Why, you ask? ecause ever since your crackie ass showed up, I get "Oh, your name's Lindsay? Like Lohan?" And before that it used to be "Oh, Lindsay? Like the Bionic Woman", which, let me tell you, is a gajillion toimes better. And I had my name first, so give it up or go away or do something productive.


The Dark Bohemiian said...

this pix is amazing !

Template by Exotic Mommie and Buildings by Antoine Mallet