Monday, March 30, 2009

Your Heart is Broke, He Has Some Glue

It must be hard to be Jared Leto. Digging up Kurt Cobain's body every week just to steal his old clothes from his corpse must get soooo tiring. Between that and pretending to be all sensitive to bed naive women, I don't know where he finds the time to sleep.
And before you even start correcting me yes I know Kurt Cobain was cremated. It was just easier to call JL a graverobber than to go through the trouble of saying "breaking into his house, rummaging through his belongings and taking what he considers to be the dirties, smelliest, grungiest looking outfits after comparing them to the items in the 'I am rich but I like to look really, really poor so people think I'm artsy and shit' Handbook." Although I probably could have just come to the assumption that he bought all of El Cobain's clothes in bulk from CLove for a nickel bag of weed, a half empty bottle of Dilaudid and a pack of Marlboro Reds. Either way Leto is biting hard (hard) on the whole 90's tortured artist coffee drinking rainy Seattle anti-metal thing. And if you don't believe me, look at what his entourage is wearing in the background. Flannel and Chucks!!! I might make
fun, but that's basically been my wardrobe since I was like, 12. So I suppose I have no room. Glass Bitch Houses, you know.
Now if you will excuse me, I must watch Empire Records while listening to Pearl Jam and L7 in a babydoll/kinderwhore dress and Doc Martins as I run my fingers through my greasy ass hair and talk about the Space Needle and Lolapalooza. Ah the 90's. They were the bestest ever. Honestly.
Oh, and in honor of the Leto, I thought I'd dedicate this song to him. It's like it was written speciafically for his ass!


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