Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Mary Carey Jumps off the Wagon

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Mary Carey is a total doll. She seems like a lovely, damaged young woman who has sadly turned to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain of a traumatizing child and adulthood. I honestly want to take her into my arms, give her a great big hug and tell her that everything will be A-Ok. Her struggle against addiction has been a public one, with peeps like me cheering her heartily on along the way. And for a while Mary seemed to be happy, healthy and on the road to longterm sobriety. Which is why it is with a heavy heart that I report that Mary has nosedived straight off the soberwagon. Sources at JET nightclub in the Mirage are reporting that the former porn star partied hard the other evening punding shot after shot until taking to the stripper pole. “She was doing shot after shot but managed to hold onto her booze while working that pole like the pro that she is." says the snitch. "She had a huge wardrobe malfunction in the underwear department. Every time she kicked her leg up in the air the nearby partiers got an up close view of her naughty bits.”
Mary why?!? You are a beautiful soul and are far too good for this type of behavior! You should treat your lady bits like the special treasure trove that they are instead of giving away the fortune for free! Addiction is one hell of a demon, and I sincerely hope that she can silence the sadness and come out on top, blossoming into the delightful human being she truely is. And if she had friends that really loved her they'd be putting her ass in check and not letting her hit up bars and clubs for fuck's sake. Sometimes being a friend means being a dick. And someone needs to step up and stop her from making bad decisions.

4 comments:

Emily said...

At first I read it "Mariah Carey" and I was like no way in hell that is Mariah! Then I realized it said "Mary." I'm such a spaz =P

Suburbia Steph said...

She fell off the wagon & onto a stripper pole....can't say I'm really surprised. She does seem very sweet, but is a mess. I don't think those close to her are truely supportive of her sobriety. Sad.

Mrs. M. said...

You're probably right Steph. They most likely are just using her for a free ride and don't care if she dies from her disease. Addiction is sad but not having anyone that loves you enough to put you in check is far sadder.

Future Man said...

I like her thighs. A lot.

 
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